The Modern Day Gentleman
What does it mean to be a gentleman?
Dictionary.com defines gentleman as "a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man."
Here at Johnny Slicks, we look at it much differently.
A true gentleman cannot be defined because descriptive traits are only part of the title. The rest is done through physical acts and thoughts.
Here are a few tips to make sure you are on the right path to becoming a true gentleman.
A gentleman never speaks negatively to another person.
If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it.
This will relieve you of any drama that may pop up in your life. It also builds trust in the ones around you because they know you wont go behind their back and spread rumors. People can openly speak to you without worry and that will result in the build of respect for you as a gentleman. Modern day society is full of rumor and here-say, be above that.
If you have something to say to someone, say it TO THEM! Don't say it to someone who it isn't involve. If you have a problem with someone, go to them to solve it.
When conversing with someone, avoid playing or fiddling with objects. It becomes distracting and obnoxious.
This includes your phone!
Yes, unfortunately this must be said. Whether you are speaking to a friend, boss, co-worker, family, or stranger, give them your attention. I guarantee you want un-divided attention when speaking to others, so why not do it for them? If you must advert your attention elsewhere, just excuse yourself, simple!
Learn the difference between talking and speaking.
In most cases, talking or rambling can get you in trouble or lose you respect from the ones around you.
Feel free to talk but, MIND YOUR WORDS.
"The Most Valuable Of All Talents Is That Of Never Using Two Words When One Will Do." -Thomas Jefferson
Complement a lady.
Do this in a courteous and respectful manner.
This can be a dangerous task but is not difficult. I say dangerous because this modern day, your words can be taken 1 of 2 ways (the right way or the wrong way). With honest repetition will come an honest reputation.
Here's and example, "You look great today!" Taken the wrong way, this can seem like you are checking her out or in the comical sense, she looks bad every other day.
Taken the right way, the effort she applied earlier that morning was acknowledged and appreciated.
If you are a sleezebag, she will take it the wrong way because that's how you hold yourself. If you are a gentleman she will take it the right way.
Repetition = Reputation
"A Man Is Only As Good As His Words Are." -Frank Sinatra
Never reach across food.
When presented with a plate, always take the food that is closest to you.
Seems simple but, you would be surprised on how easy it is forget this in the moment. The main reason for this rule is sanitation and respect. When you reach over food, you risk running your sleeve or wrist in it and ruining both the food and your sleeve. Following this rule will show others you are thinking of them when you act.
When dining, your napkin must be placed on your knee once you sit and should not be placed on the table until dinner has ended.
If you must get up from the table, excuse yourself and place the napkin on your chair when you stand. This rule is very simple but often ignored.
This is the type of rule that when you do it, anyone who saw you will do it too. This is because everyone knows it's the right thing to do but always forgets. Pretty straightforward. Just make it a habit.
Avoid making any noise while eating. It is seen as obnoxious and disrespectful.
Don’t blow on your food if it is too hot, wait for it to cool down.
Yes, both of these rules still apply to modern day society. They seem simple but, next time you eat or drink, try to pay attention. Or better yet, next time you are eating with someone, pay attention to them. And make sure its super obvious and awkward too! You'll see that it is very common for someone to forget these rules. This is where your awareness will equal your habits. Just acknowledging your mistakes here will result in a habit to carry these rules.
"Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. But being a gentleman is a matter of choice." -Vin Diesel
Decisions and Positivity!
Never make decisions based off of your emotions.
As men, we must use logic to assist us in decision making and not use emotion.
Pretty broad but it comes down to this; when presented with ANYTHING, think about it. Now, some things may require you to meditate or take longer to think about it but ALWAYS take time to think. No matter what anyone says, men are looked at as problem solvers. I'm not saying women are incapable of solving problems, I'm saying men are commonly presented with problems and expected to solve them and solve them correctly.
Decisions made on a purely emotional basis will always have an emotional attachment. Even when the decision may not have been the right one, the person who made it will have an emotional attachment and will defend their decision.
Decisions made with logic will always have reasoning. While decisions made with emotion will have attachment.
Be a man of positive qualities.
Do things that uplift others.
Everything you do must reflect positivity. I know, this is very hard and at times seems impossible. You must be able to take negative things in life and filter them into a positive way. This is not done for yourself but, for the ones around you. You will need to train your thoughts to look for positives in bad situations. This will also allow you to make level-headed and logic decisions.
You must give more to the world than you take.
Every encounter you have with a person, leaves an impression on them.
Make it a positive one.
When you are at the store and you pass another person in the aisle, what you do (or don't do) leaves an impression on that person. Smile at them and say good morning! That could be the difference between a good day and a bad day for them. This goes for driving as well. If you tailgate someone, they will become irritated. You just left a negative impression on them and they are now more likely to do the same to another.
Here is one small task you can do to get on track and remain on track with being a gentleman. Every where you go, no matter where you are, leave it better than how you got there. So, if you go to the park, pick up a piece of trash. If you go to the store, complement someone. No matter the situation, always leave a positive impression on the area and the people.
“Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering.” -Theodore Roosevelt